The Question That Makes Me Freeze

And How I'm Learning to Answer, "I Am Enough."

The question was simple, I knew the answer, and I froze.

“Tell me about what you do?”

Truth is, for many reasons, I hate this question. I’m also aware that at the root of this disdain is a distinct fear that I’m very present to; the fear of being judged. It often feels that whatever the words are that come next will make the difference between being desired or discarded. Burdened by this binary, my default is often to deflect or redirect so that the outcome of the inquiry no longer feels like a pass or fail.

This fear and I go WAY back! We have a history that certainly precedes questions about my profession, and although the way I respond to it has evolved, the actual method used to meet these moments hasn't changed much over the years.

WORDS, LOTS AND LOTS OF BEAUTIFUL WORDS!

For example: The ability to command language and call it forward to create a collage of creative responses that paint so much possibility on the canvas of the simplicity of these inquiries have served as a shield to guard my insecurities and allow for me to stand in the midst of these minimizing moments.

The intent behind these poetic and often unnecessarily long replies has historically been to disguise what I have believed are shortcomings that are grounded in feelings of not being enough. These feelings foster insecurities that say if I simply answer the question as it is asked, it will be insufficient, just like me.

Insufficient, just like me.

That phrase – "insufficient, just like me" – is the insidious whisper of fear. It’s the voice that tells us we’re not smart enough, capable enough, or worthy enough. This fear, left unchecked, can be a relentless taunter, keeping us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and avoidance. It convinces us to build elaborate shields, to deflect and hide, rather than to simply exist and be seen.

But what if fear could be a teacher instead? What if, in those moments of panic, we could learn something profound about ourselves and our inherent worth? The truth is, fear often points us directly to areas where we feel vulnerable, areas where we have an opportunity to grow.

When fear taunts, it drives us away from the beauty of who we are. When fear teaches, it illuminates the path back to the wonder that lives within you.